Be happy and enjoy every day that the Lord have blessed you to see. Some people who were here yesterday are not here today.
You do not have to be old for death to come anymore. Change your negative thinking into positive thinking. Stop saying that you wish you were dead some people will have love to have your time.
Some people cannot live the present for looking back in the past, if you are ever going to be happy you must let go of the past because it holds you life back and stop you from living a peaceful life and moving on. Forgiveness is the first step in healing.
The person you maybe hating and cannot let go is probadly done moved on and forgot how they hurted you. You and you only can control what goes into your mind. Hold your head up and smile that let the enemy know they have not defeated you. Victory can and will be yours. Keep practicing postive thinking techniques.